You smell like stripper and shame
It was confusing and full of hummus
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
