When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
