dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
