just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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