apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
