I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
