In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
