if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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