His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
