I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
