you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
