I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Randomize
