dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
