You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Randomize