I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
