Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
