puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
