We're like a lot better than the average bears
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
