Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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