Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
