he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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