i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
