Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Actions speak louder than pants.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
