How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
