this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
