I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
