It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
