tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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