I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Randomize
