He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
