OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
