you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
