we're chasing vodka with high fives
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
