I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
then he tried to convert me to islam
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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