I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
