wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
