Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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