Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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