Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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