I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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