I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
