i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize