i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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