plz talk dirty to me
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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