sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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