Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
