HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
