Who did Billy Mays play for?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
