last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
