so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
she smelled like a LAN party
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm bleeding and have questions
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
