I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
