There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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