I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
