Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
