I feel great
I just peed on a car
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
