I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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