You're completely useless in the revolution.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
