I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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