Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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