I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
be right there i have to get my cape
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize