ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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