Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
