what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize