Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
third nipple confirmed
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
