like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
