idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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