Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
