please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
